fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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