Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
