He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
