You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
