i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
