why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize