Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
