She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
