And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
