I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
