I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
