I think i peed on brittanys purse
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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