Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
