Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
