there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
