I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
