OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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