there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
