I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
