I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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