his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
