she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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