Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
