..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
