Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
