just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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