After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
