so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
