too bad you live with your parents still
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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