I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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