Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
