TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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