What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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