i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
