Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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