dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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