He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
