that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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