I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
3 2 1 whiskey
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
