Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
