You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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