Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
