i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
