I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
