Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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