Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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