I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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