who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
