so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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