Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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