please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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