yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
